is it you?

Now im just not able to come up with titles.... It's getting cold. And I miss you. There's like a sense of longing that I've never experienced before. Well, I have similar experience but that was different. The main feeling behind it is the same just the colors are different. I see everyone and everything with colors. Everyone has colors that apply to them in my world. They are like living pieces of the person's personality. It's so funny that your colors are some of my favorite. Those colors aren't the same anymore. They haven't been since my dad passed but u brought some brightness back. This sucks. But maybe I deserve it. Maybe I need to work on me before u can come back. Idk honestly. I just know that right now I'm hurting because of so much and I'm just doing what I need to to just exist. If my son didn't need me I would be a whisper on the wind. I've tried so many times, but I always get my way in the end.

crack...that's my heart breaking.

I know you will never see this. But then again maybe you will...you had mentioned once that you read this...I dont think that's the case anymore but I'll gladly believe it.

I hurt. Everyday. I miss you so much. It hurts. I am hurting so badly. I wish you could come back. I wish things could be different. That I didn't have to go thru my life alone but I guess that's my punishment. 

I may have had good things happen to me but when they get bad, it's really bad. 

I cry and hug myself every night wishing it was you instead. I would stay up all night with you for the rest of my life if it meant u would come back.